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Name: April
Country: United States
State: Ohio
Gender: Female
Expertise: "Jack of all trades, master of none."
Occupation: Artist
Industry: Construction
Message: message me
Member Since:
2/27/2003
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| I'm awake! I'm here!
I am officially an old married woman. Wow. I just said that and it became true. Honestly, this entire entry is an ode to my Pa-pa, who's recent revival of "blogging" has inspired my own renaissance.
I have a job now. Full time bank teller was definitely worth $40,000 in higher education. Really, I enjoyed all four years. (and, ahem, BG is not dreary! Perhaps though, now that I'm gone...) I love my co-workers...they are all my age and have my exact sense of humor...odd, eh?
Tonight, a grandiose wave of longing and rememberance has washed over me as a tsunami. Not that I am unhappy now. Quite the opposite. But with what I know now...I wonder if things could have been better for the people whose lives I affected, who I interacted with. However, it does no good to live in the past because then you're not watching where you're going and that's how you run into a telephone pole, or say, back into a Taurus at subway. (I never ran into a telephone pole.) (and Brian and I never did get our subs...)
No, I am very much so a forward thinker. I recently had a grrreat phone conversation with my favorite defiantstar. Sometimes I wish I could be around him more, the way drywall protects your furniture from the elements. But I cannot. He is not my furniture. And I am someone else's support.
Marriage = good idea. Really a divine idea.  I have nothing more to say about it that wouldn't cheapen the experience of knowing you stumbled upon the dude that God created you for. Oh, and he cooks for me. =)
In other news...I have writer's block. In a bad, bad way. Maybe it wasn't worth $40,000, because I learned no self-discipline. I cannot devise my own writing regimen; I have been spoiled by people in positions of authority telling me what to write about and when to have it done. Perhaps I could hire someone to, say, call me once a week and demand I read them something new and lyrical. And then make me feel guilty for not submitting to magazines. Yes. If anyone wants to apply for that job, e-mail me your resume and I may call you for an interview. Seriously. I could pay you in tangerines.
I'm running out of superficial things to write about. I do apologize for not writing sooner, but I felt as if I had to get my life in order before I started this up again. I'll try not to disappear again. (Thanks Pa-pa)
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Rivers of Salt
By Shirley Kaufman (it really bothers me when they don't have the picture.) |
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| Boy do I feel old. Or young, rather. As of just Sunday the Love of my Life proposed to me and I, enthusiastically, said "yes" multiple times. He started crying, I sniffled some, It definitely was the happiest moment of my life thus far. He is so sweet and perfectly made for me that there is no other explanation except that God created us for each other. I'm really nervous about telling my family this weekend because I know that no one was expecting me of all people to get married ever, let alone so soon after dating someone. But, as they always say (and now I am a firm believer in this) when you know, you know.
Ooh! So, my human Bratwurst turned fiancé did get the job he interviewed for, however it is only part-time/seasonal. So this means he will still keep his day job and work the new one on nights and weekends. But at the end of the seasonal work (sometime in January) the company keeps two people, so he has a pretty good chance of staying on, if he wants to.
Hmm. I had this big, elaborate entry planned, but all of it seemed to escape me. It is so amazing and frightening at the same time when you realize that your entire life will turn completely around in a short couple of months. A time when nothing will ever be the same again, when everything is a new experience that you can never turn back from.
Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4
...and the book of Revelation | | |
| Wow! It's been a while. I know you all missed me! For some unknown reason my life has been so busy with classes and my human Bratwurst. well, okay, mostly the latter.  I am really excited for him, because tonight he is cutting a demo of one of the popular songs his band plays, and he is nervous about it, which I find cute. Of course there is nothing to worry about when you have his ability.
In other news, I am trying new things with my writing, partially inspired by my favouritepoeticstar and partially inspired by all of the fiction I've been reading. This, this change, it is a good thing. I am ready to branch out from my usual topics and styles...I was getting too comfortable. Unfortunately, My thesis is focused on the type of writing I was doing, not what I am doing now. *sigh* Alas, it is always good to move forward and get new perspectives.
More news...I am taking up German. for Obvious reasons.
Yes, the nerd that I am definitely bought a textbook and workbook from Grounds the other day (total: $8.00). I am still trying to master/perfect the "back of the throat growl" that is so essential when pronouncing most words that have an "r" in them. Wish me luck. But then, I do have the best teacher.
Still more...I greatly dislike minor sixth chords. Really, what's the point? Seriously, though, I am having a reality check as far as my music performance goes; I am really disappointed with my (lack of ) progress since last April. I know that all I need to do is practice more, and realize that I can only get better not worse. Again, I have the best teacher.
Yes, the news (much like the beat) goes on...Things at home have settled down a lot, and I am very thankful for this. Hopefully the few days break from my housemates will do us all good. I seriously think #3 is bi-polar or something. She definitely has a complex that no lay person could fix (read: she doesn't need an Exorcist, she needs a psychiatrist). Roommate #1 is plagued with IBS, which is only aggrivated by her constant stressful state. Hopefully her trek to Cali will calm her down.
Please pray for my Bratwurst, as he is applying for a new job that would be so much better for him. Also, thanks to anydefiantstar leaving random late-evening phone messages with me. Those are nice to listen to. Maybe we'll get our timing right and stop missing each other.
I've been thinking. (now say, "Uh-oh!"), I really have no fear of death. partly because I know (yes, know) it will not happen for a long time and ( this is the majority of why) I know where I'm going afterward. Also I know that where I'm going afterward is going to be way better than my life here on earth. Don't get me wrong, my life is going so well right now, but I could be happier (couldn't everyone?) And I know that after I die, my life will be perfect. I will have a new body, new pleasures, and no wants or worries. I will have everything. Yup. Everything.
So many people are afraid of death because they think, "Oh Geez! what happens after I die?!" Well, after death you either live or suffer. That's it. If you establish a realtionship with Jesus (that's really all He wants from you), then you will be saved. Saved from eternal suffering. Saved from the bondage to sin. You will belong to God, and be one of His children. He will never leave you and you will be united with Him after death. AFter you are saved, when you do sin (and everyone does, no one's perfect) as long as you are genuine, and truly repent, you will be forgiven. God will never forsake you and you can rest easier about what happens after the big sleep.
That if you confess with your mouth "Jesus is Lord" and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. (Romans 10:9)
Cheers, Take care.
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| While classes aren't entirely kicking my ass yet, it is like a little love tap taken too far. (everyone sitting down?) I may actually have to study this semester--crazy, I know--but one would think I would have the hang of this homework thing by now...
So, while I didn't record for posterity the huge Ordeal that happened last week, things are getting better with the roommate situation: people no longer hate living here, the same people are willing to attempt to be friends and start a relationship with the remaining roommates and other people are no longer being called "whores with revolving doors" by former said people. The turnaround has been so drastic that one roommate commented to me, "I'm so glad you live here!" Yes, I was floored. In other news roommate #2's boyfriend, affectionately called "Manslave" has lovingly given me the black plague of death who's symptoms include deep throat coughing, the sniffles, a voice like a call girl and lack of sleep. Thank you Manslave, the boyfriend I never see, yet from whom I obtain contagious maladies.
Life with my human bratwurst is going swimmingly...He cooks, he croons, he loves. He is too good for me, and I tell him so.
In other news, I have not talked to my favoritedefiantstar lately and I am concerned for his life in that i feel he needs some cheering up, some stress relief that, alas, I cannot give because I am not near him. loveddefiantstar, wherever you are, know that I am here and miss you.
Not intentionally being abrupt, but it is time to discuss the innerworkings of Joyce's Portrait with my fellow students. Cheers. Take Care. | | |
| joy said, "it feels like you're reading the ocean." and i thought, "I feel like I'm loving the ocean."
It is just one big swell.
However, as soon as I write that crumb of optimism I am reminded of all of my shortcomings, all of my screwups, all of my inadequacies. "All fall short of the glory of God..." and I am no exception. I want to apologize for not being a great person for the last...week and a half. As someone penned monday: "Dude, what are you thinking?" I need to wake up and save what's left of my life. I'm sorry. I'm sorry to you, I'm sorry to him, and I'm sorry to Him. I need to wake up, I need help being a better me.
In completely unrelated reference to my "Currently Reading" directly below...Ma Mangus starts all over again, eh? | | |
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